- Education is something you get when your father sends you to college. But it isn’t complete until you send your son there. ―Anonymous
- Knowledge is what you get from reading the small print in a contract; experience is what you get from not reading it. ―Anonymous
- Familiarity breeds contempt―and children. ―Mark Twain
- Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield. ―Dwight D. Eisenhower
- Don’t criticize your husband’s faults. If it weren't for them, he might have married a better wife. ―Anonymous
Monday, January 21, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
- Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read. ―Groucho Marx
- He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty. ―Sam Houston
- He did nothing in particular and he did it very well. ―W.S. Gilbert
- The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people. ―Anonymous
- A man is as big as the things that make him mad. ―Anonymous
Monday, January 7, 2013
- Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. ―Dan Bennett
- Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. ―Stephen Lealock
- Diplomacy: lying in state. ―Oliver Herford
- A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. ―Robert Frost
- Man cannot discover new oceans until he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. ―Anonymous
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
My wife had me watch a few minutes of “Hello Dolly,” and I enjoyed some of the dialog between the uncle, Horace Vandergelder [played by Walter Matthou], and his niece, Ermengarde Vandergelder. Uncle Horace has sent her suitor [Ambrose] away, and she is distressed. I especially loved the line: “You’ll thank me when you’re 50.” It made me smile.
Ermengarde: Uncle Horace! Uncle Horace!
Horace: Yes, what is it?
Ermengarde: What have you done to Ambrose?
Horace: I had a quiet talk with him.
Ermengarde: You did?
Horace: Yes, I explained to him that he's a fool.
Ermengarde: Oh, Uncle!
Horace: Weeping, weeping ― a waste of water. I've done you a good turn. You'll thank me when you're 50.
Ermengarde: But, Uncle, I love him.
Horace: Save your tears for New York, where they won't be noticed.
Ermengarde: But I love him!
Horace: You don't.
Ermengarde: But I do!
Horace: Leave those things to me.
Ermengarde: If I don't marry Ambrose, I know I'll die!
Horace: Of what?
Ermengarde: A broken heart.
Horace: Never heard of it.