This is extra funny. Thanks, Bob Allums.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
- An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. ―John Buchan
- We always admire the intelligence of those who ask us for advice. ―Anonymous
- An attic is place where you keep something for ten years and then throw it away just two weeks before you need it. ―Anonymous
- Once you’ve put one of his books down, you simply can’t pick it up again. ―Mark Twain
- Statisticians are men who know that if you put a man’s head in a sauna and his feet in a deep freeze, he will feel pretty good―on the average. ―Anonymous
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Everyone has a sad story…really. As a boy, when I, or one of my siblings would complain about some situation, I can remember my mother saying, “Aw, poor pitiful Pearl.” Poor Pitiful Pearl was a doll (see above), first marketed in 1958. My wife said that when she was a little girl she always wanted a Poor Pitiful Pearl doll. At my house (and I think in many others), Poor Pitiful Pearl became a metaphor for anyone with a sad story that they used as an excuse for not doing whatever they were supposed to be doing. While there are many genuine sad stories, the real issue, in the end, is about our response to the sad story. A self-pity party is how many respond, which if nursed, becomes bitterness. Self-indulgence [sin] is then often justified by the victim of such circumstances. Yet for every five “Poor Pitiful Pearls,” there’s someone with a similar (if not worse) story, who responds differently. (My daughter had a doll she named “Happy”.) Instead of becoming victims, they become victors. They triumph over adversity and rather than indulging themselves with sinful responses, they rise above the circumstances and overcome them.
We can’t avoid hard things in this fallen world. There is much injustice and abuse. We have been and will be mistreated. It’s natural for us to feel sorry for ourselves and to see ourselves as victims. But the Bible calls us to a supernatural response to our sad stories. It instructs us to “turn the other cheek” (Matt. 5:39); to “bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” (Rom. 12:14); to “not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). The Word of God insists that we “count it all joy when you fall into various trials” (James 1:2). Moreover, the biblical response to our sad stories is to be one of trusting God, “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Our response to other people’s sins must not be sinful but righteous. “In due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Gal. 6:9). Perspective changes how we respond. “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isa. 26:3).
Monday, November 19, 2012
- Never eat more than you can lift. ―Miss Piggy
- An adolescent is a teenager who acts like a baby when you don’t treat him like an adult. ―Anonymous
- Adversity introduces a man to himself. ―Anonymous
- An atheist cannot find God for the same reason a thief cannot find a policeman. ―Anonymous
- An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile―hoping it will eat him last. ―Winston Churchill
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
- "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." ―C.S. Lewis, On Forgiveness in The Weight of Glory
- "When the sea was calm, all ships alike showed mastership at floating." ―Shakespeare
- “Trust the past to God’s mercy, the present to God’s love, and the future to God’s providence.” ―Augustine of Hippo
- "You can act your way into feeling long before you can feel your way into acting." ―John Maxwell
- “Much of the social history of the Western world, over the past three decades, has been a history of replacing what worked with what sounded good.” ―Thomas Sowell
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
We are grateful, first and foremost, for our citizenship in the Kingdom of God. This is the eternal Kingdom that knows no boundaries, geographically or historically. The Church is truly one “nation” under God. It is comprised of every tribe and tongue, has grown throughout history, and is an eternal Kingdom. Jesus is our King and He is the King of kings and Lord of lords.
Somewhere in our American experience patriotism was wedded (in the minds of some well-intentioned Christians) with the Kingdom of God. That’s not the same as saying America has Christian foundations and Christian influences. America, like every nation, should bow before King Jesus and serve Him. Nevertheless, we must avoid the blending of our citizenship in America with our citizenship in the Kingdom of God (i.e., the Church). The Kingdom of God is bigger than and superior to our beloved America.
We should be thankful for our country, and we should thank God for His kind providence in allowing us to live in the most free and prosperous country that has ever existed. Indeed, He has shed His grace [unmerited favor] on us. Nevertheless, we must guard against blurring our blessed nation, or equating our nation, with God’s Kingdom. Americans are not God’s “chosen people.” The Church-international is God’s chosen people. Americans, to the degree we remain faithful to God, are blessed by God. We are deeply grateful for the faithful who have gone before us and secured that blessing, but we should never forget that these blessings can and will be withdrawn when we, as a nation, forget the one true and living God.
On this Veteran’s Day we honor those who have defended our country for almost two-and-a-half centuries. We also honor those soldiers who continue to defend our freedom.
Thank You, Lord, for the selfless sacrifices our veterans have made to serve the cause of freedom, truth and peace. May we not lose what has been gained by forgetting to honor You and by remembering that real freedom, truth and peace can only be held and advanced as we remember to honor You and Your law.
“The kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ, and He shall reign forever and ever!”
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Aren't I smart? I told you so! If you had only listened to me. So, we (I mean you) got what was deserved. Maybe next time you’ll listen. I think I’ll dance a little “judgment jig” in the end zone to celebrate.
When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom. ―Proverbs 11:2
May I suggest an alternative course for us all: sackcloth, ashes and prayer; a little hair pulled from the beard. We don't know as much as we think we do.
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time. ―1 Peter 5:6
Friday, November 2, 2012
From P.G. Wodehouse
- “She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say, 'When.'”
- “I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.”
- “Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, 'So, you're back from Moscow, eh?'”
- “It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.”
- “Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.”
- “The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.”