Respect is the Duty of the Child

Respect must be modeled by the parent. You should always demonstrate respect to everyone, all the time. The Golden Rule is really about respect—we all want to be treated with respect, therefore, we must show respect to others. Those in authority must never abuse their authority by lording it over others. This does not mean that you don’t use your authority, which involves correction and enforcement. It does mean that you do not abuse those under your charge by demeaning them or showing disregard for them. Your children are your neighbors and you must love them as you love yourselves. Respect is demonstrated with:

Words: Words can be careless or malicious. A non-response, when one is called for, is disrespectful—we should always speak when spoken to. Specific words might be required, e.g., “Yes ma’am,” or “No ma’am.” How we say it. Loud and clear. Appropriate tone.

Behavior: Body language. It has been taught by some that God is not interested in the posture of our bodies, but only in the attitude of our hearts.  This is a false antithesis and it is not what the Bible teaches. There are too many references to outward bodily postures in worship to dismiss them as mere formalism. We often fail to recognize the fact that bodily posture will both express as well as help establish the posture of a person’s heart. This is why, for example, we tell children to “sit up and pay attention.” Or to “look someone in the eye when you speak to them.” When we are humbled, we hang our heads. When we are joyful, we express it with our posture.

Eye contact: It is absolutely essential that children be taught (including correction) to always look at someone when they are speaking or being spoken to. Being shy is not an excuse; it is an opportunity to train.

Symbols: Symbols enable us to commune with one another. Symbols constitute a language that allows us to speak both with depth and brevity. A picture is worth a thousand words. And so, as a hand-shake or a kiss or a wedding ring speak volumes. All of life is full of symbols that express the unseen. We grasp the unseen world by way of the seen.  It is true that the outward appearance can be a false representation of a thing, but we recognize it as being untrue because we also recognize that outward expressions should be genuine representations of truth.  Thus, we think someone to be hypocritical if they smile and shake our hand while at the same time harboring hatred or resentment in their hearts. They are fakers, fraudulent, insincere, etc.  We expect the physical acts and symbols of a person to be genuine expressions of who they are and what they think and feel.

Facial expressions, eye-contact, posture, hand-shakes, hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and myriad more such things are all symbols of our thoughts and emotions. They are not only spontaneous, but also routine in their forms. Our life is full of such symbols at every turn. Removing our hats, stopping for a funeral procession, architecture, music, art, clothing, flags, gestures, fireworks, parades, wedding rings, diplomas, birthday candles, flowers and a million other symbols that help us order our lives and give legitimate expressions for our beliefs and feelings. They enhance and convey meaning to us rather than diminishing it.  We are quickly offended when someone messes with our symbols.

Manners: Manners are an expression of respect for other. Following procedure: (e.g., how to sit, how to listen, readiness, use of hand signals, etc.). Uniforms and dress code: (e.g., professional dress, student dress). It is a public symbol of submission i.e., coming under the mission. It is a symbol of respect toward other and toward the community as a whole. When we violate the dress code, we are saying that “I am the most important person.” All of these represent attitude and the heart. It is the heart we are after. If we do not gain the heart for Christ, then we failed. (Mal. 4)