“Counselors fail when they become too sympathetic toward excuses and do not hold counselees responsible for their behavior, but they can never fail when they become truly sympathetic toward them. Perhaps the first attitude may be called sympathy and the latter empathy. [The terms are unimportant, and merely help to distinguish true from false sympathy.] When counselors simply become softhearted, they are most unmerciful toward their counselees. The most kindly (empathetic) stance is to tell the truth, help the counselee to face up to his own sin, and encourage him to make the changes necessary to rectify the situation.”
[Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel, p. 58]
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